Many of us jump from one relationship to the next. Is it because we are anxious for a new thrill? Or is it because we enjoy the company we receive from the opposite sex? Most times it's because we're scared of being lonely. Beyonce so aptly described the feeling most of us experience when we realise that we have been put back into the "singles" file. She says:
"I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely".
Do we agree with Beyonce in this regard? Is this the feeling some of us are faced with? Is this the feeling that propells us to find a new relationship as quickly as possible? For some people maybe! However, we should not look at our "relationship lull" as a terrible thing. Instead we should look at it as a time to regroup. A time when we can find ourselves and discover what more we are looking for.
Instead of this mindset, there are some individuals desperate not to have just their shadow being the only one on the wall, they go out and cast lots. They wait with baited breath as the gods through the dice, eager to see which lucky young lady or young man will become their new preoccupation! Some blame it on Cupid when the relationship doesn't work out! Why don't we stop that fable and just be truthful! Our relationships most times don't work out because we are too anxious for them to begin in the first place.
Whatever happened to starting slow, taking the time to know him or her? We need to draw on the pearls of wisdom sung by Percy Sledge. He said:
"Take time to know her. It's not an overnight thing.
Take time to know her, please don't rush into this thing!"
He went on to say that:
"well she was bad i didn't know it.
Her pretty little smile never did show it......"
This brings me to a next point. How foolish we mortals be! We allow a winning smile, a sexy six pack body, a "coco cola bottle shape young lady" to win us over without first establishing the fundamentals. These things are but for a time and when they fade what is left? Nothing is left because the relationship wasn't built on good principles!
I'm no expert! As a matter of fact I'm single right now. Broke up with my boyfriend of two years and I'm the happiest I've ever been! Some people may say it's a front, but it's not! Singleness is a gift not a curse! If you cannot learn to enjoy your singleness, how will you be able to last a relationship?
Unlike Beyonce, I'm not in a fight, i don't need to be patient, i certainly don't need comfort late at night and i can find my way without anybody leading me home! For those single people out there, don't be blue! Don't be scared of being lonely! God is crafting your perfect someone, the oh so famous Mr. or Mrs. Right and when the time comes he'll have you know him or her!
So why should you be scared of being lonely? Loneliness is as fleeting as time!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Is it love?
"I love you"! Quite a frequent expression these days. Everybody is in love! Sex one night and automatically it's love! We use the word "love" so much that we forget what it means. However, it's being used so much these days that it continuously takes on different meanings.
Some say love is a feeling! Some says it's an emotion! Some say the word "love" means that they really care about you! However whenever when something goes awry in the relationship, they look for the first door. Is this what love is? This feeling that we are taken up with. This feeling that most people allow to control their lives and their judgements? Is this love, a prize to be won? Is this love, the one we all aspire to have?
Picture this. A young woman and a young man are in a relationship together. They have the most awesome sex. A mere five minutes after that, the girl turns to the guy and says "I love you"! One good night of sex and she says the words that are the keys to the treasure "I love you"! Great! The guy now has the upper hand here. He can either respond in a way to boost her ego, not give her the response she's looking for or just break up with her.
Which road do some men choose more often than most? The latter two. A handful of men choose the first option. So when the girl or the guy turns to the the other and utters those three powerful words, are they meaningful? Is it love?
No it's not! It's lust! It's not love! People need to stop using those words especially when they don't really mean it! Love as a word is very overrated! Many people use it to get what they want from either party. So is it love? When someone turns to you under these circumstances and tells you that they love you, is it love?
You decide!
Some say love is a feeling! Some says it's an emotion! Some say the word "love" means that they really care about you! However whenever when something goes awry in the relationship, they look for the first door. Is this what love is? This feeling that we are taken up with. This feeling that most people allow to control their lives and their judgements? Is this love, a prize to be won? Is this love, the one we all aspire to have?
Picture this. A young woman and a young man are in a relationship together. They have the most awesome sex. A mere five minutes after that, the girl turns to the guy and says "I love you"! One good night of sex and she says the words that are the keys to the treasure "I love you"! Great! The guy now has the upper hand here. He can either respond in a way to boost her ego, not give her the response she's looking for or just break up with her.
Which road do some men choose more often than most? The latter two. A handful of men choose the first option. So when the girl or the guy turns to the the other and utters those three powerful words, are they meaningful? Is it love?
No it's not! It's lust! It's not love! People need to stop using those words especially when they don't really mean it! Love as a word is very overrated! Many people use it to get what they want from either party. So is it love? When someone turns to you under these circumstances and tells you that they love you, is it love?
You decide!
Sick and afflicted!
Here i was sitting in my living room, thinking about the wonders of life. Then it dawned on me,-life is full of irony! How ironic that such a thought should cross my mind when I'm afflicted with the chicken pox! It's a hell of an illness- this chicken pox! For those of who who have experienced this horrid disease, you'll know that it's no picnic. It engulfs your entire body! It starts on your abdomen, then spreads to your back, and the rest of your limbs in your body are overtaken by this dreadful disease!
How horrible to be transported back to bible days when the lepers had to run through the cities advising the entire population of their uncleanliness! Though it's not so today, it's almost like that. Instead of having to broadcast your shame and humiliation in the streets, you are confined to your bedroom never to show yourself until you are rid of the disease.
I sat here thinking and began to realise that diseases are cruel! Any illness that anyone becomes afflicted with now-a-days affects some vital organ of your body. I was privileged to have my encounter with "pink-eye" and oh what a joyous time we had together!
There i was, my vision temporarily gone, sitting in my bed all day, looking at nothing but the darkness! I understood then to some extent what God probably saw when he first looked at earth. The darkness that covered it all, no light could be found anywhere. Desperate for some light, i tried to open ma eyes, but he wouldn't let me. Like an albatross, it clung to me, never allowing me to see the light! Literally! And just which organ did this disease affect? My eyes!
Then here comes the chicken pox, some years later affecting the most visible thing to the human eye, my skin! I guess i should be thankful that it's not much worse. It's not as bad as others! But my poor face is taking a good beating from the chicken pox!
I never thought i would have chicken pox. I was vaccinated against it. So imagine my surprise when i was told oh so calmly by the pharmacist that i have chicken pox! I almost hyperventilated! I was so overwhelmed by it all that when i came home, I cried so much my eyes nearly popped! Now however, I've gotten accustomed to it. It doesn't itch anymore thanks to the calamine lotion. Oh thank God for science! Isn't life something else? Oh it's just full of surprises!
Diseases? Who needs 'em? I know i don't! But why is it that diseases should affect us like this? Some affect our skins, some the eyes, some the liver, some the heart, some affect our mouths, some our kidneys and the list goes on.
We all have our time! Our day will all come when we become sick and afflicted!
How horrible to be transported back to bible days when the lepers had to run through the cities advising the entire population of their uncleanliness! Though it's not so today, it's almost like that. Instead of having to broadcast your shame and humiliation in the streets, you are confined to your bedroom never to show yourself until you are rid of the disease.
I sat here thinking and began to realise that diseases are cruel! Any illness that anyone becomes afflicted with now-a-days affects some vital organ of your body. I was privileged to have my encounter with "pink-eye" and oh what a joyous time we had together!
There i was, my vision temporarily gone, sitting in my bed all day, looking at nothing but the darkness! I understood then to some extent what God probably saw when he first looked at earth. The darkness that covered it all, no light could be found anywhere. Desperate for some light, i tried to open ma eyes, but he wouldn't let me. Like an albatross, it clung to me, never allowing me to see the light! Literally! And just which organ did this disease affect? My eyes!
Then here comes the chicken pox, some years later affecting the most visible thing to the human eye, my skin! I guess i should be thankful that it's not much worse. It's not as bad as others! But my poor face is taking a good beating from the chicken pox!
I never thought i would have chicken pox. I was vaccinated against it. So imagine my surprise when i was told oh so calmly by the pharmacist that i have chicken pox! I almost hyperventilated! I was so overwhelmed by it all that when i came home, I cried so much my eyes nearly popped! Now however, I've gotten accustomed to it. It doesn't itch anymore thanks to the calamine lotion. Oh thank God for science! Isn't life something else? Oh it's just full of surprises!
Diseases? Who needs 'em? I know i don't! But why is it that diseases should affect us like this? Some affect our skins, some the eyes, some the liver, some the heart, some affect our mouths, some our kidneys and the list goes on.
We all have our time! Our day will all come when we become sick and afflicted!
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